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Sunday, July 24, 2011

Some Friends Just Don't Get It!

It was a lunch to remember, that is for sure. Not a good memory at all but one that has left it's mark on me.

I was really excited at the prospect of lunch last Thursday with my prior co-workers at my last job. It was a monthly birthday celebration/presentation by a physical therapy student.

It started with all the usual pleasantries, hugs and catching up. We all ate too much of the potluck's fare as usual. The presentation was simple and concise. After the student wrapped up the attention turned to my recent knee replacement (8 weeks old now). One of the PT's asked to see my new knee in action. I did so, flexing and bending as instructed. Then it happened, out of the blue like a lightening strike on a cloudless day. I was ambushed without a way out! The remarks were cutting and hurtful. The group (especially one) told me, in so many words, that I was not working hard enough, was a big baby in regards to pain and was not doing the exercises properly. I was stunned, speechless and wounded.

I left quickly, nodding a good bye and headed for my car. The tears started as soon as I put the car in drive. I called my husband who expressed outrage as I had expected. I blubbered on and on until I was done shaking.

I have decided that I do not need to do this to myself. The relationship I had with these people is no more. It is done, over and out. No more lunches. I am sad as this was one of my few outlets left but I cannot make sense of the attack. I really had tried to explain to them how fibro affects healing but it was to no avail. The tightness in my hamstrings has been there for years, the swelling in my legs the same. I have been through PT before with mixed results. I currently have a great PT who gets fibro and is very encouraging.

I guess my take on this is that no matter how much you educate and teach about this illness, few really get the scope of the ramifications on healing from trauma and/or surgery. I am sad about the disconnect with them and it breaks my heart to cut the relationships, but I have to protect myself. What would you do?

1 comment:

  1. I am so sorry to hear of your experience. You are very lucky to have a supporting husband (i think that is what you meant. Often I feel very alone with no support in my family or friends; that is why I like reading blogs from others who do understand.