It was a lunch to remember, that is for sure. Not a good memory at all but one that has left it's mark on me.
I was really excited at the prospect of lunch last Thursday with my prior co-workers at my last job. It was a monthly birthday celebration/presentation by a physical therapy student.
It started with all the usual pleasantries, hugs and catching up. We all ate too much of the potluck's fare as usual. The presentation was simple and concise. After the student wrapped up the attention turned to my recent knee replacement (8 weeks old now). One of the PT's asked to see my new knee in action. I did so, flexing and bending as instructed. Then it happened, out of the blue like a lightening strike on a cloudless day. I was ambushed without a way out! The remarks were cutting and hurtful. The group (especially one) told me, in so many words, that I was not working hard enough, was a big baby in regards to pain and was not doing the exercises properly. I was stunned, speechless and wounded.
I left quickly, nodding a good bye and headed for my car. The tears started as soon as I put the car in drive. I called my husband who expressed outrage as I had expected. I blubbered on and on until I was done shaking.
I have decided that I do not need to do this to myself. The relationship I had with these people is no more. It is done, over and out. No more lunches. I am sad as this was one of my few outlets left but I cannot make sense of the attack. I really had tried to explain to them how fibro affects healing but it was to no avail. The tightness in my hamstrings has been there for years, the swelling in my legs the same. I have been through PT before with mixed results. I currently have a great PT who gets fibro and is very encouraging.
I guess my take on this is that no matter how much you educate and teach about this illness, few really get the scope of the ramifications on healing from trauma and/or surgery. I am sad about the disconnect with them and it breaks my heart to cut the relationships, but I have to protect myself. What would you do?
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Fibro and Supplements
There appears to be a great deal of chatter on fibro sites right now on various supplements. I am not going to address specific ones but just some guidelines, especially to the recently diagnosed.
A few things to consider when choosing supplements:
1. Has this particular product had a recent review by the National Fibromyalgia Association or like-minded publication?
2. What do you really know about the product?
3. Have you researched the product? Do you know the safe dosage range?
4. Did you talk with your doctor or pharmacist about possible drug interactions?
5. Do you have a condition that may make taking the product hazardous to your health?
6. How did you find out about the product? Did you see it on the internet?
7. Have you been to a support group (local or facebook) and talked with others about their possible experience with the product?
8. Have you compared prices and brands?
9. Can you honestly afford the supplement?
Lastly, do not expect a cure. Supplements can be a real help but fibromyalgia is not "cured". We can manage the symptoms and improve our situation but beware of any product that claims to have the cure.
Whenever there is chronic pain and fatigue we search for relief. In that search consider supplements but do so with common sense.
Until next time, stay well.
A few things to consider when choosing supplements:
1. Has this particular product had a recent review by the National Fibromyalgia Association or like-minded publication?
2. What do you really know about the product?
3. Have you researched the product? Do you know the safe dosage range?
4. Did you talk with your doctor or pharmacist about possible drug interactions?
5. Do you have a condition that may make taking the product hazardous to your health?
6. How did you find out about the product? Did you see it on the internet?
7. Have you been to a support group (local or facebook) and talked with others about their possible experience with the product?
8. Have you compared prices and brands?
9. Can you honestly afford the supplement?
Lastly, do not expect a cure. Supplements can be a real help but fibromyalgia is not "cured". We can manage the symptoms and improve our situation but beware of any product that claims to have the cure.
Whenever there is chronic pain and fatigue we search for relief. In that search consider supplements but do so with common sense.
Until next time, stay well.
Friday, July 8, 2011
The Scar
June 12, 2011. On this date, Beverly Jean Rogers left this earth to the open loving arms of Jesus. She was my supporter, mentor, hero and, most of all my mom. Oh Lord, how I miss her.
She believed in me. She believed in my diagnosis of fibromyalgia. She always called to see how I was, if I needed anything or if she could help me in someway. All of this from an 80ish woman!
On any given day my mom could outwork me. She was an "energizer bunny" if you will. She raised 5 children on a salary my father earned as full time factory worker and part time farmer.
This has had a profound impact on me and is the big reason I have not blogged in so long. I just could not formulate a sentence. There was energy only for the necessities of life. In the midst of her later weeks I had to have a total knee replacement. The pain was terrible and the pain in my heart even worse. I sat by her bedside in a recliner with an ice pack on my knee and just watched her breathe. I never wanted to forget the sound of her gentle breath.
My knee is now healing but my heart is still breaking. All of this is not kind to my fibro at all. I am taking the summer of from playing clarinet in an outdoor band and I have declined many invitations. I have survived with the help of family and facebook friends. My husband has been so supportive.
What can I take away from this? That loss is part of life but it nonetheless sucks. The increased stress has caused me increased symptoms. I expect to slowly heal but not without a scar, somewhat like my knee. My knee scar is proof that I had surgery. I am living proof my mother existed but there will be an internal scar on my heart.
I will be dealing with this again. For now, let the healing continue . . . . .
She believed in me. She believed in my diagnosis of fibromyalgia. She always called to see how I was, if I needed anything or if she could help me in someway. All of this from an 80ish woman!
On any given day my mom could outwork me. She was an "energizer bunny" if you will. She raised 5 children on a salary my father earned as full time factory worker and part time farmer.
This has had a profound impact on me and is the big reason I have not blogged in so long. I just could not formulate a sentence. There was energy only for the necessities of life. In the midst of her later weeks I had to have a total knee replacement. The pain was terrible and the pain in my heart even worse. I sat by her bedside in a recliner with an ice pack on my knee and just watched her breathe. I never wanted to forget the sound of her gentle breath.
My knee is now healing but my heart is still breaking. All of this is not kind to my fibro at all. I am taking the summer of from playing clarinet in an outdoor band and I have declined many invitations. I have survived with the help of family and facebook friends. My husband has been so supportive.
What can I take away from this? That loss is part of life but it nonetheless sucks. The increased stress has caused me increased symptoms. I expect to slowly heal but not without a scar, somewhat like my knee. My knee scar is proof that I had surgery. I am living proof my mother existed but there will be an internal scar on my heart.
I will be dealing with this again. For now, let the healing continue . . . . .
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Far Above Rubies: Domestically Divine Homemaking Link-Up and Giveawa...
Far Above Rubies: Domestically Divine Homemaking Link-Up and Giveawa...: "I want to change things up a bit this week. I'd like to give 10 select ladies 1 free download of Sarah Mae's new ebook, 31 Days to Clean; Ha..."
Monday, April 25, 2011
My fibro is not like yours.
It seems that even the fibro community does it. Of course, society does it. Our families do it. We question fibro. Statements I have heard (from fellow sufferers):
1. If you do not have x symptom, then it isn't really fibro.
2. If you really had fibro you could/could not work.
3. What do you mean you do not work? I do.
4. That is crazy. If you had fibro you would not be able to do (insert anything)
5. That med does not work for fibro. You must not really have fibro.
6. If you really had fibro you would love/hate massages.
7. Chiropractic is helpful/hell.
8. Pain killers work/do not work.
9. I was cured by x. You don't want to get well or you would try it.
and at #10: I had fibro once. Once.
Other bloggers have stated similar encounters and are as frustrated as I am at times. What makes this so hard is we cannot seem to cohesively rally together. Can you imagine what would happen if we could get the momentum that the Susan Komen for Breast Cancer movement has? It would be astounding.
Now, I am not trying to bash anyone. I am just making an observation. However, I believe that we as a group must, and I mean MUST, band together or we will never be truly heard. We will be slaves to the newest fad treatment and worse, out and out dangerous scams.
Let's try and bridge the gap this May 12 and truly make a difference. I am sending a press release to my local paper and trying to develop a local support group. What can you do?
1. If you do not have x symptom, then it isn't really fibro.
2. If you really had fibro you could/could not work.
3. What do you mean you do not work? I do.
4. That is crazy. If you had fibro you would not be able to do (insert anything)
5. That med does not work for fibro. You must not really have fibro.
6. If you really had fibro you would love/hate massages.
7. Chiropractic is helpful/hell.
8. Pain killers work/do not work.
9. I was cured by x. You don't want to get well or you would try it.
and at #10: I had fibro once. Once.
Other bloggers have stated similar encounters and are as frustrated as I am at times. What makes this so hard is we cannot seem to cohesively rally together. Can you imagine what would happen if we could get the momentum that the Susan Komen for Breast Cancer movement has? It would be astounding.
Now, I am not trying to bash anyone. I am just making an observation. However, I believe that we as a group must, and I mean MUST, band together or we will never be truly heard. We will be slaves to the newest fad treatment and worse, out and out dangerous scams.
Let's try and bridge the gap this May 12 and truly make a difference. I am sending a press release to my local paper and trying to develop a local support group. What can you do?
Sunday, April 10, 2011
I am back!
After what seems like a year, I am able to blog again. I am sorry for the silence but I had some things to do and take care of, most of all the sale of the family farm.
I was out there today taking pictures. Pictures of the family farm, in the family since 1888. My father was born there and died there. I grew up there but never really appreciated it, until now.
As I was taking the shots, the wind blew harder and harder. The swirls of motion seemed to whisper "remember". The tears started as I went down memory lane. Back to the first time I rode my new horse, my new puppy, my first date, my now to be nearly last walk around the property. Crows cawed in the background, turkeys gobbled in the distance and the spring peepers sang away. It is definitely a magical property with rolling hills, a spring fed pond and numerous creeks. I remember my grandmother's feather bed and the soda she saved especially for me. Thoughts of her Avon Bird of Paradise cologne drift through my brain so strong that I swear that I can smell it. I can hear my brother's laughing and my dad yelling at us to stop torturing each other! Yeah, like that ever happened. I see rows of golden wheat, corn and soybeans. Stacks of hay bales fill the barn and the sweat rolls down the nape of my farmer tanned dad's neck. Peaches are held to overflowing in baskets well worn by years of use. The memories keep drifting in and out of my mind's eye.
Suddenly I am aware of my husband coming up behind me. He notices the tears and puts his arms around me. We stand in the warmth of the sun, silently holding each other. Suddenly I hear a horn beep and my mom's voice yelling at us to come in for supper. I turn but no one is there. I turn to Jon and we walk quietly to our car and drive away.
I may have left the farm, but the memories came with me.
I was out there today taking pictures. Pictures of the family farm, in the family since 1888. My father was born there and died there. I grew up there but never really appreciated it, until now.
As I was taking the shots, the wind blew harder and harder. The swirls of motion seemed to whisper "remember". The tears started as I went down memory lane. Back to the first time I rode my new horse, my new puppy, my first date, my now to be nearly last walk around the property. Crows cawed in the background, turkeys gobbled in the distance and the spring peepers sang away. It is definitely a magical property with rolling hills, a spring fed pond and numerous creeks. I remember my grandmother's feather bed and the soda she saved especially for me. Thoughts of her Avon Bird of Paradise cologne drift through my brain so strong that I swear that I can smell it. I can hear my brother's laughing and my dad yelling at us to stop torturing each other! Yeah, like that ever happened. I see rows of golden wheat, corn and soybeans. Stacks of hay bales fill the barn and the sweat rolls down the nape of my farmer tanned dad's neck. Peaches are held to overflowing in baskets well worn by years of use. The memories keep drifting in and out of my mind's eye.
Suddenly I am aware of my husband coming up behind me. He notices the tears and puts his arms around me. We stand in the warmth of the sun, silently holding each other. Suddenly I hear a horn beep and my mom's voice yelling at us to come in for supper. I turn but no one is there. I turn to Jon and we walk quietly to our car and drive away.
I may have left the farm, but the memories came with me.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Sorry for the silence!
I am sorry I have not posted for so long. There have been so many things going on in my life right now.
That being said, I saw my doctor on Monday for a followup to the ER visit. He listened and stated he felt that I am having migraines. I researched migraines on the internet and they can make you faint (syncope). Lucky me.
Migraines are more complicated than I had ever thought. There are different kinds of migraines depending on the presence of an aura or lack thereof. Also, some migraines are located in different areas of the head. One distinguishing characteristic appears to be the level of pain. A migraine is described as having such a level of pain as the person is unable to continue with activities. There appeared to be a number of medications that are available. Some are preventative type meds while others are taken after the migraine has started. Attacks can last from 4-72 hours. Symptoms can include the following: sensitivity to noise and light, pain that restricts movement and activity, nausea and/or vomiting. There are other symptoms. Triggers can include: food (chocolate and nuts) temperature, change of weather, stress etc.
It was recommended to me that I see a neurologist (who cannot get me in until next month!). It was explained to me that with so many different types of medications it is important to determine the class of migraine.
That is my story for now, the quest for headache relief. Please!
That being said, I saw my doctor on Monday for a followup to the ER visit. He listened and stated he felt that I am having migraines. I researched migraines on the internet and they can make you faint (syncope). Lucky me.
Migraines are more complicated than I had ever thought. There are different kinds of migraines depending on the presence of an aura or lack thereof. Also, some migraines are located in different areas of the head. One distinguishing characteristic appears to be the level of pain. A migraine is described as having such a level of pain as the person is unable to continue with activities. There appeared to be a number of medications that are available. Some are preventative type meds while others are taken after the migraine has started. Attacks can last from 4-72 hours. Symptoms can include the following: sensitivity to noise and light, pain that restricts movement and activity, nausea and/or vomiting. There are other symptoms. Triggers can include: food (chocolate and nuts) temperature, change of weather, stress etc.
It was recommended to me that I see a neurologist (who cannot get me in until next month!). It was explained to me that with so many different types of medications it is important to determine the class of migraine.
That is my story for now, the quest for headache relief. Please!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)